外表有主見其實很在乎家人 - 牡羊

By Sandy
at 2010-05-25T01:41
at 2010-05-25T01:41
Table of Contents
我是03/31的羊女,外表堅強獨立有主見,其實對家人的看法耳根軟到不行......
大概是月亮在巨蟹吧,愛哭情緒化又習慣悶著不說,遇到問題就想躲回殼裡。
不是很喜歡這樣衝突矛盾的個性,又必須與自己和平共存,嗚嗚嗚...
今天晚上跟爸媽討論未來的職涯規劃,心裡有很強烈的定見,
但是當父母提出對己身個性的憂慮及質疑時,開始崩潰大哭。
希望深愛的父母能支持自己、給自己正向的鼓勵,害怕自己在父母心中的形象去了了,
但是為了自己想做的事必須鼓起勇氣、不停反駁、面對爸媽的擔心,
最後爸媽用很溫柔冷靜的口氣說,你想清楚後,我們會支持你的。
還是忍不住一直哭,覺得自己好對不起爸媽,讓他們為我這樣擔心......
已經25歲了,還這樣虎頭蛇尾、三分鐘熱度、我好怕自己真的遇到困難又再次退縮...
冷靜的告訴自己:這次要做好準備,好好做,含著眼淚咬著牙也要做下去,
不能再三心二意、猶豫不決,要讓爸媽為自己感到驕傲,找回當初的理想!
可是眼淚還是止不住,對他們好抱歉好抱歉,小時候我根本不需要他們為我操心,
是三個小孩裡最會念書、最自動自發、最有想法的,我也以為自己會一輩子這麼耀眼。
直到畢業後工作後,一開始衝的很有興趣,可是三分鐘熱度的毛病一來,
關卡與挫折一來,想奮力爬起卻又跌倒了......我想我的心態有很大的問題.....
這些他們都看在眼裡,為我擔心、希望我再努力、發現我更多缺點....
到後來我連自己的優點在哪都不知道了.....不想再這樣下去所以決定轉業......
很希望自己在父母心中還是那樣完美的形象......(淚)
今晚覺得自己好失敗,可是又為堅持方向的自己感到高興,
就算哭泣愧疚,我相信爸媽非常愛我的......
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牡羊
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