微不足道的存在 - 天秤
By Caitlin
at 2015-09-17T12:12
at 2015-09-17T12:12
Table of Contents
八月份真是衰事一籮筐。
公司倒了,家裡也出了點小狀況。唯一覺得欣慰的大概就是當時還在煮的蟹男兒還願意陪伴著,聊聊天,覺得很感動。
隨著進入九月,自己也慢慢調整心情,想著:『或許這是個轉機吧?』在某次電話裡,知道了對方也喜歡自己後,還以為之後會慢慢有進展…
但,一切都在不知不覺中變了。
反覆看著對話紀錄,不明白到底哪個環節錯了。我們聊天不再像以前熱絡,但,還是可以隱約感覺你的關心。我告訴自己你只是忙而已…
直到後來訊息越來越少,你說你要調整,生活和工作。我沒有勇氣問你,那是不是包含我們呢?我想,你可能在宗教信仰上找到了寄託,不再需要我這個垃圾桶了吧?
從一開始,你就只是想要個可以分享生活、談心的朋友吧!是我不小心讓感性和理性失衡了…對不起啊!前陣子的衰事不斷,不小心就把你當作另一伴那樣的傾訴。
天秤就是愛面子吧!你說要『調整』,我不敢問,只好自以為貼心地不打擾,還你平靜的生活。
明明情感上很難過,但理智卻不斷告訴自己:『如果你在意我,心裡有我的存在,你就會找我…』就算莫名其妙被甩開,至少自尊要自己拿回來,別拿熱臉去貼冷屁股吧…
這幾天的手機好安靜…除了昨天你不經意傳了張用餐的照片,我刻意忍住不馬上回覆,只怕一個不小心,又被你察覺我的在乎。即使,你曾說過我的單純讓你很感動,而你也完全感受到我對你有多麼在乎…但一切對你而言,可能都不重要了吧。
雖然真的好難過,想起你還是忍不住眼眶紅,但,真的喜歡一個人,在乎一個人,就會替他想,他希望什麼?想要什麼?就算難過,能做到的,還是會去做。這是我能給的,最後的溫柔吧~
雖然不知道你是否會在意,但避免自己打出太靠北的字句,連臉書IG我都暫停更新了。
啊…我大概只剩這裡可以讓我說說話了吧!天秤啊…就是個連傷心都講求優雅和風度的詭異星座。
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Sent from JPTT on my HTC Butterfly s.
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