我好像壞掉了 - 天蠍
By Hedda
at 2016-04-10T00:40
at 2016-04-10T00:40
Table of Contents
接連三次的感情挫折,又再度怦然心動(第四次),然而卻覺得自己很膚淺,明明三個月前心中還是別人。
會覺得自己膚淺,是在知道對方(第三次)有男友後,心裡瞬間斷裂,一絲難過都沒有,彷彿上一秒還喜歡著她的自己是完全不同的人,是不是真心喜歡都無法確定。
對自己的感情感到不真實,會不會只是一種對現狀的不甘? 但是那些難以入眠的日子卻又是紮實的難受。
對自己早已失去信心,不敢踏出那一步,在還沒開始前就患得患失,滿腦愛情為何不能像簽契約那樣的簡單這種荒謬思想。
「成人不自在,自在不成人」還是其實自己只是無法適應成人後的諸多不自在罷了,想找個人為心中最柔軟那塊做點防護?
我無法否定也無法肯定,腦中一團亂,想被愛,卻不知道怎麼愛人,多少次質疑自己夠格被愛嗎?
只想這次別再是另一個錯過。
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