脫序的2020 - 摩羯
By Charlotte
at 2020-08-25T04:49
at 2020-08-25T04:49
Table of Contents
失控的2020,原本以為能躲過
但還是沒有辦法
年初我遇到了糟糕的人事進而影響到我的愛人
我很感謝他的存在跟陪伴
最後還是弄丟了被我當作家人的他
在人生中跌了很大一跤,計畫中明年理應步入婚姻
現在只能安慰自己紫微斗數曾說我的姻緣沒這麼早(苦笑)
第一次沒辦法正常吃飯睡覺生活跟冷靜,時常歇斯底里
失去了感情方面的依賴跟受了傷
但慢慢的重拾了跟家人之間的關係
就像他說的 我把什麼都想的太簡單太相信人
開始審視過往自己在家庭/工作/情感/交友
感覺自己曾經付出都被否決掉了也越來越討厭自己
過往的感情因為愛相信對方說的話一再給對方跟自己機會
變成了我的世界一直在崩壞
或許在感情上都不曾與對方有激烈的爭吵
才在問題發生時不知所措也不清楚解決的套路
越是相知相惜熟知彼此的人也越知道拿著什麼利器傷害彼此
找不到跟自己相處的平衡點
不敢一直把情緒想法帶給家人跟朋友
我知道那是自己的難題要走出來
也知道要變成好的自己才能到更好的地方
制訂了一些清單希望能好好充實自己
很多時候卻還是會被情緒拉回去
做了一些事分散注意力
但一有空閒獨處的時候還是無限的自責
身心靈傷口太深也沒辦法再好好的快樂起來
一切就是個惡夢纏繞著我
好難過充斥著痛苦,原本在軌道上的人生
就這樣斷軌了也接不回來
每天的星座文都很有感觸,心情也跟天氣一樣 時常下著雨
毀滅過後,會是重生還是墮落?
願我們都能變成更好的靈魂不再受傷。
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