你就是沒開的那壺! - 水瓶
![Agatha avatar](/img/woman.jpg)
By Agatha
at 2016-08-05T13:53
at 2016-08-05T13:53
Table of Contents
我的星座或生日:太陽蠍子上升瓶子月亮咩咩金星嘶嘶
(這一串念起來好像咒語喔)
大家好,我曾經睡覺笑醒也曾經被淚水滑落臉頰的觸感喚醒,這些我都覺得很合理;
不合理的是,我作夢也沒想到會二度光臨瓶板(平板有點好笑...)再來大放厥詞Orz
角色介紹 或 前情提要 請自行搜尋本人於瓶板年度頭號大作(?)謝謝!
以下本文開始。
------
他傳了訊息抱怨新接到的案子,一時半刻我也不知道要回什麼──
老是說些老梗的加油打氣我厭煩了(是啦我就不是溫柔婉約的解語花喔真不好意思),
結果我就這樣擺著手機,
先去弄了晚餐,
又吃了晚餐,
看了一下電視,
洗了碗盤,
接著洗了澡──
還是沒梗。
(咦?上面的排版好像外國童謠喔,什麼知更鳥之類的)
前思後想,左顧右盼,好吧勉為其難被雷打到的靈感悄悄地從山坡上滾下來了──
"Take care of yourself first"
對,我承認這句完全meaningless的屁話是我傳的XD
(曾幾何時我也搖身一變成了客套話人了呢?歲月真是個不饒人的小妖精啊)
結果就是被已讀XD
嘛除了謝謝不客氣這些客套基礎用語我也想不出能接什麼了。(攤手)
想了想,靈光乍現就傳了今天跑步時順手拍的花過去。
──真的是在第一時間(我連視窗都還沒跳出去),他就傳了張照片過來。_。
很好很好,孺子(明明是大叔了)可教。我眉開眼笑地和大家一起看下去──
http://imgur.com/a/PhzZL
...這傢伙根本欠殺吧?!(磨刀)
在我還沒腦中風前,他又緊接著傳了新照片過來。
嗯哼,他還算有良心,很有心傳了第二張照片和我分享生活,讓我們繼續看下去──
(FYI他昨天傳的兩張照片,一張是他整理過後的辦公桌,另一張是和姊姊吃晚餐)
http://imgur.com/a/GNb9i
靠!!!!!!!!!!!!
(這是英文發音!這只是一種動物!)
傳什麼對照圖啊──Before and After,開吃前和掃光後。
是有沒有這麼貼心?
還是你其實是臥底店員,意圖宣傳?
你說啊?
啊?啊??啊???(青筋)
接下來他開始像在唱童謠似地說自己會變成豬,豬豬豬豬豬不停。
然後又自顧自地說壓力好大,沒頭沒腦問我在幹嘛──
在討厭你啦討厭鬼!
到底哪壺不開提哪壺──?
為什麼就是選不到對的壺啊你說!會嗶嗶叫會冒煙的那個!給我拎那壺來啊你!!!
(以下抓狂五分鐘)
水瓶座!!!你可不可以不要這麼欠揍!!!!!!
(對不起全世界善良美好的瓶子們,要怪就去怪你們的老鼠屎先生吧)
(但如果你是想讚美他的話就謝謝再連絡不送了!)
--
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水瓶
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